My Top FIve Online Dating Red Flags

Spotting red flags – and acting accordingly when you do – is crucial when it comes to dating and relationships [a red flag is defined as a warning of danger or a problem, a necessary indicator that something is not right]. For those of you who are online dating, trying to make a romantic connection with someone you haven’t met or seen in-person can often make it much harder to spot red flags.  Here are my top five online dating red flags.  Pay attention and don't ignore them!

5-Online Dating Red Flags

1: A picture-less profile -- If you're online dating you are the product and you have to sell yourself to the best of your ability. A good profile picture is the first step to doing that. It's the first, and might be the only impression you get to make to potential online suiters. If there is no profile picture, that's a big red flag. It tells me you're either trying to hide something, you don't feel good about yourself, or comfortable putting yourself out there, or you're not taking online dating seriously -- all factors that are an instant turn-off. I instruct my clients to not even bother to look at anyone's profile without a profile picture.


2: The shirtless picture -- The old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words," couldn't be more true when it comes to online dating. For example, inappropriate profile pictures of shirtless men exposing their bodies, or their bare chests, are major red flags and huge turn-offs. These pictures scream "I'm conceited and narcissistic and this relationship will be all about me, me, me." I always instruct my clients to move on when I see an inappropriate profile picture.

3: A profile picture with sexy women -- I've seen profile pictures of men surrounded by gorgeous women -- or worse, bikini clad women -- and it's an instant red flag and turn-off. I always think "player," someone shallow who's trying way too hard to prove that he's cool, when he probably isn't. So this is a definite no-no, and I always steer my clients away from these kinds of online profiles.

4: A profile that's too perfect -- If his profile is too perfect, or it reads like an episode of The Bachelor, that's a red flag. If he uses the word romantic too often, sounds like he's just saying what you want to hear, or comes on too strong, too fast, that's another major turn-off.

5: Attitude -- A profile with "attitude" is a major red flag and turn-off. Too many men bring their past relationship baggage into their online dating experience. For example, catch phrases like, "I want you ladies to get it together," or "I'm not going to treat you like a princess, this is the real world" make the men sound so jaded. You can tell they've been burned, or their hearts have been broken, and no matter what you do it'll never be good enough. I always advice my clients to stay far away from men with attitudes, the expectation is way too high and you're just being set up to fail.